Valentine’s Day is arriving, much sooner than later. Now is the time for the couples to be all lovey-dovey prancing around town exchanging gifts and all that jazz. Sigh.
How many of you are single, or tired of this forced holiday? Maybe still recovering over a foul breakup? Ugh. I know. I’m still healing from a breakup of seven years. Constantly seeing declarations of love, candies, candles, lingerie; it’s disheartening to see it shoved down your throat at a time when you are seeking solace.
I’ve tried finding alternative ways to celebrate the holiday. An “Anti-Valentine’s Day,” if you will. Without the bitterness, cynicism, or anger so often laced in these situations. Let’s get some self-care and healing up in here.
Sell that stuff: Selling jewelry or gifts from an ex can be made easy just hawking it at a pawn shop and listing on OfferUp or Craigslist, but you’ll never really be able to clear out those feelings. Instead, sell it on neverlikeditanyway.com. It’s a site where you can buy/sell/trade and blog of those painful little reminders of that person. You set your price.
There’s only one rule: Share your story of the dead relationship. There is a support system to help you get over those breakup blues. You can use it as super karmic healing, or make a comedic quip of the one that left. All ex jewelry is welcome: ex-husbands, ex-girlfriends and ex-wives. Put that jerk on blast. Or not. Just nice to know there is a place you can rant, judgment free.
Buy for YOU: A survey by the National retail Federation states that America is expected to spend $19.6 billion on Valentine’s Day things this year. Umm…instead of spending your hard-earned money on someone else, how about a little self-care? Purchase something nice for YOU. Have you had your eye on that Coach purse, a Nintendo Switch, or a piece of jewelry at James Avery? Go ahead and splurge. You deserve it. Just not on Valentine’s Day.
Buy it after they hype is over and inflation deflates, but don’t forget about paying your bills. If you don’t have a lot to spend, buy something small: a thought-provoking book, a cool shirt, or even that extra cupcake at the bakery. Sometimes it feels good to be a little selfish. If you insist on buying a gift for someone, make someone like grandma or mom feel special. I always treat my grandma to a candy, or a potted plant.
Wade in the water: Japanese studies have shown that the sound of flowing water calms the mind and produces healing alpha brainwaves of listeners. Try visiting a lake, river, or beach and meditate by its shores. I’ve found it’s very calming. Throwing rocks is a stress reliever too. (Just don’t get irritated and chunk them at any passerby couples or an ex.) If you can’t stomach going out, stay in, and relax in the tub with a nice hot bath. Add aromatic oils (like lavender and rose) and epsom salts for a relaxing, and stress-relieving experience.
Anti-Romance movie night: If going out isn’t your thing, consider staying home. Call a few friends and have a movie marathon of your favorites devoid of any romance. Have pizza or Chinese food delivered to your pad, with a slew of junk food and drinks. Kick back and enjoy. A personal favorite of mine is A Goofy Movie. (don’t judge me). Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Rosemary’s Baby are other personal faves.
Volunteer: Valentines is a day of love. Instead of bashing those couples, why not show a different kind of love? Places like the Salvation Army, Haven for Hope and the Humane Society are always looking for volunteers to help out for the day. It’ll make you feel appreciated and useful. Sometimes it’s nice to be involved in the bigger picture, and you’ll feel nice knowing you did some good.